rtw resolution update

woven hudson pants in the dreamiest of viscoses

As of this week, it has been seven months since I bought RTW clothing. Why did I choose the seven month milestone to write this post? Because I forgot to write it at the big six month milestone as I had originally intended. And I think this says quite a lot about how the resolution is going; that is, it is not a very big part of my life, or not as big as I expected it to be.

By mid-February, I was feeling very optimistic and virtuous at my progress, until I went to the thrift store one afternoon and realized that I had not really been shopping since beginning the resolution. Lesson learned. Now, when I shop online, I just don't look at the clothing sections (unless I'm looking for inspiration), and I likewise avoid the clothing places when I am out shopping. Which is fine and dandy in a small town where essentially everyone is wearing variations of the same thing, but next month, I'm moving to the city (*terrified face emoji*), and that means beautiful clothes and people wearing beautiful clothes. Everywhere. So I'm expecting that to be a little challenging, but I think it will be pretty inspiring as well. 

As I said though, for the most part, this resolution is not having as much of an impact on my life as I expected (I can't decide if that's good or bad). Now and then I feel like I am missing out, but it passes. Occasionally, I do miss the buyer's high, and having something beautiful instantly, rather than spending hours on it. Earlier this summer, I wanted some more loose knit tank-tops, but I can't just go out and buy them, I have to make them. And I still haven't. 

Of course in my case, buyers regret quite frequently follows the buyers high (on a side note, this buying restriction on clothes has made me do much better at not impulsively buying other things. major bonus). I confess, several times I have been shopping (usually at the thrift store) and something catches my eye and after much internal debate, I say "Whatever, I'm gonna get it, it's just one _______." (This is usually closely followed by "And it only costs $____"). But I've never gone through with it. At the last moment I feel like a terrible person for breaking a commitment to myself and I put it back. Never once have I regretted it afterwards. 

Until last week. 

It's still painful, so I'm gonna write this down once and try to never think of it again:

I was at the Salavation Army, virtuously only buying a little gold beaded purse (the logic being that I can pair it with my plain-ish everyday clothes in order to take them from 'small town average' to 'city average'), when the woman in line behind me holding the most beautiful indigo coloured 100% cashmere t-shirt told me that I should buy it, because it would look nice on me and she was just buying it to send to her sister because it was too nice to pass up. 100% cashmere and indigo! I managed to blurt out "I'm not buying clothes for a year!" And hightail it away from the sweet sweet temptation, but then I spent a good minute standing outside my car telling myself I should go back and get it. But I didn't. 10 minutes down the road I was still thinking just maybe she had decided not to buy it after all, and I should turn around and go get it. But I didn't. Even thinking about it now makes my heart hurt a little. It's the worst non-buyers regret I've ever had. 

The point of this resolution was to increase the ration of handmade in my closet, and to not buy things that I could just make. I cannot make 100% cashmere t-shirts in the most beautiful blue-purple colour in existence, and I may likely never be able to. 

Which is why I have decided to amend the resolution, and allow for purchases of sweaters and such that I cannot make. (Note: while it is still–as ever–on the list to knit a sweater, at the rate that I *ahem* enjoy sweaters, it is not financially feasible to knit all of my own sweaters.)

This post came out rather longer and more rambl-y than planned, but that is the state of things.